Tales from the Attic: 1964-65

From the Idler in 1964-1965 – precursor of the DC Gazette and Undernews

Lady from the phone company called up to find out whether we wanted our name listed in bold-face type in the new telephone book soon to come out. Would only cost us: $3.75 a month. She told us they had discovered that 75% of the people who use the phone directory have eyesight trouble. We don’t figure that the percentage is as high with our readers so we’re going to squeak by with the regular style of type. The lady said it would add to our prestige but far as we can determine it will only add $3.75 a month to our expenses. If we are wrong and you really do have trouble finding our number in the phone book, just dial Information and ask for The Idler. That even works in the dark.

UN Ambassador Adlai Stevenson reports receiving some interesting mail. One lady wrote him: “Why couldn’t the delegates take a break every 20 minutes or so and go out into the corridors and sing songs? Surely this would show the delegates that they could be in harmony at some point.” Another said, “Your posture at the Security Council is negative. Please sit up straight so you’ll make a good impression on the underdeveloped nations.”

We sent a classified ad up to the Saturday Review not so long ago and got back a reply which said, in part, “After careful consideration, our Acceptability Board came to the conclusion that it would prefer not to run your ad.”

We had hoped that the Saturday Review would be able to find a little space for us amongst their other ads concerning Sell’s Famous Liver Pate, WBAI-FM, exotic tropical fruit, work for an exconvict, sex education records, and a private party wishing to buy Horatio Alger books. So we called them up to find out what was wrong.

Nothing wrong with the ad, the lady told us. “The board just decided your magazine was a little too liberal.”

A Berkley, Calif., school principal had the gall to ask Senator Gaylord Nelson to come speak to the student body, but not without first signing a loyalty oath. The senator, of course, refused . . .

The fad for restoration of houses around Washington has reached the point that a gentleman in Alexandria actually had two toilets placed in his bathroom side by side, then covered them with boards complete with appropriate holes. We suspect he is now looking around for antique copies of the Sears Roebuck catalog .