February 10, 2016

How good cops behave

The Bangor Maine Police Department Facebook page has over 100,000 fans. Here's from a recent report:

Everyone at the bar enjoyed the kindness of the cordial man who said, “drinks all around.” The one hundred and eight dollar tab did not bother Daryl one little bit. Once his card was declined both the patron’s thirst…and Daryl had disappeared. Daryl was stopped in his attempt to “ease on down” the road like with cast of The Wiz. When the cops showed up to discuss both his kindness and his declined credit card, Daryl said he needed to stop over to the Tavern on Main to meet a man named Peter in order to borrow the money to pay the tab. Apparently, Peter was a figment of the Jagermeister’s imagination. Officer Tyler Rusby discovered that Daryl was currently on bail for being generous and not paying another tab in the past. He was arrested for the charge of Theft of Services and charged with violation of bail conditions on the former charges.

When you steal a phone and sell it at the ECO ATM Kiosk at the Hannaford grocery outlet, remember that the equipment there snaps a fairly high definition portrait of your face. The girl who stole the phone from the nice people at Discount Mattress has a DFOD photo on Officer Alvarado’s desk along with a completed and active arrest warrant. We hope the minuscule amount of cash was worth it, Amber.

In our “Interlude of Kindness” section, we find Officer Alvarado again placing a man under arrest this time for a suspended driver’s license and lack of insurance. Well, he was summoned for those charges but he was arrested on an active warrant. The man had just picked up a couple of pizzas for his family and requested that Officer Alvarado make sure the kids got fed. We have kids. Our kids like pizza as well. The man was dropped off at the County jail. Alvarado then delivered the pizza to the man’s family. It was still hot.

Upon arriving at the fight call, the officers found that the group had simmered down. One individual decided to become the focus of attention and told the officers that he would defy their orders to quietly, calm down. At one point, he appeared to be moving along nicely. It was a short-lived moment of clarity as he came back and continued to call the officers names using coarse and foul language. Officer Lund took him to jail. P.S. We actually do not want to arrest you. Just behave.

Making your own, hand created masterpieces worked well for your mom’s refrigerator. It is less impressive when you poorly color in the lines on your own, homemade, state motor vehicle inspection sticker and place it on your windshield. He explained to Officer Smith that his dad had told him that the sticker “didn’t look right” and would probably be pulled over. Dad was right. Dad is usually right. We do not know if the young man advised his dad of the the summons. We know for sure that it was real.

This information has been gleaned from police files from Bangor Police Department cases. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty. Blankets and towels are provided for suspects upon their arrival at jail. BYOB is for bottle clubs and Super Bowl parties. No police officers were injured in the making of this segment. We urge citizens to leave others alone and do not take things that do not belong to you. Pizza was not paid for by Officer Alvarado. Officers will not take off gun belts or clothing at the request of violent patrons.


Walter F. Wouk said...


Anonymous said...

too bad so many cops lie, see Briscoe vs Lahue where the Black Robes took away the Rightto a Remedey-FTG