Tales from the past: Maine talk

Sam Smith - Maine used to be known among the "summer complaints" as full of characters. "You sure have a lot of characters up here, " the visitor would say. The approved Maine response was, "Ayah, but most of them go home around Labor Day."

Today, most people in Maine weren't born there. Now, when you have a problem "down cellah" you call a contractor from Brunswick. Recycling is a cause rather than a necessity and you don't hear people say, as they once did, "Fix it up, make it do, wear it out, use it up, do without."

Other things are disappearing. The humor has largely moved from casual interchange to books and videotapes. It's been many years since the day I drove into a gas station, stepped out of my car into a puddle and heard someone say "How's the watah?"

Occasionally it still crops up. John at R&D Automotive told me a few years back that my brother had been in with his car. "He said he kept smelling gas . . . so I told him to stop it."

Or the exchange at Leighton's department store:

"How ya doin?"

"You want the long story or the short one?"

"Give me the long one."

"Pretty good, I guess."

Or the time Bob Guillamette, the plumber, came to fix something. I asked him to also look at the tub he had recently installed because the water was slow to drain. He returned a couple of minutes later saying, "Jesus Christ, Sam, you're one of the lucky ones. Most of them won't hold water."

The Maine reputation for straight talk, even in business dealings, is likewise on the wane, but as recently as the early 1980s, I set out to buy some fishing tackle for my sons. My first stop was LL Beans. I wasn't going to waste money on fancy gear but I thought I might pick up some nice hooks in the display case there.

I said to the clerk, "I haven't been fishing since I was a kid and all we used were mackerel jigs."

"They still work pretty good."

Mackerel jigs were simply a hook extending from a elongated diamond - shaped weight, so I left Beans having spent all of $2.19. My next stop was Mel's Sports. Mel had some nice but inexpensive metal reels so I picked up a couple.

"These for fresh watah or salt?" he asked unsolicited.

"Salt."

"You'd do better with the plastic reels."

It was true, but Mel lost a couple of bucks in the deal.

My last stop was a hardware store in the Falmouth shopping center. I walked in with my sons and asked about rods.

"These for you or your boys?"

"My boys."

"Well, I wouldn't buy these; they're too good. Go over to Zayres and get the Zebco Z-29. That'll do just fine."

L.L. Bean has a worldwide reputation of honesty and good customer relations, but Bean's wasn't that exceptional for Maine. I once bought a used car for my son sight unseen over the phone from David DeGrandpre at R & D Automotive. I figured I'd do better that way than buying a visible vehicle in a Washington lot. I was right. The car made two roundtrips across the country and innumerable college commutes before collapsing in Moab, Utah. Even then, my son got enough for the car to complete his trip to the west coast by train and bus.

Some of the best stories still come from Beans, though. Like the New York lady who complained that her woodstove was smoking up her living room. When pressed about how she had the flue set up, it turned out that she was not aware of flues and had just plunked the device down in her Manhattan living room and started burning wood. Bean's convinced her to send the stove back and gave her a refund. Another urban customer was upset because the wreath bought the previous December had turned brown in the intervening year. Bean's sent $25 so the customer could buy a new one in time for Christmas.

Once my mother called on what she suspected was a hopeless search to find a certain color yarn to finish her L.L Bean hunting boot needlepoint. The operator said she had been working on the same pattern and had some left to which my mother was welcomed if she'd come by her house to pick it up. And in the 60s when we received a damaged order, the company promptly replaced it. In the package were postage stamps in the same amount as the ones we had used returning the item.

Of course, LL Bean was also the pinnacle of local power. For a number of years after dial service was introduced, the store - being the only place in town open 24 hours a day and the town being without operators -served as the emergency center.

Much more useful for Bean was the fact that the US Post Office below the store and factory was a tenant of its biggest mailer and LL's brother Guy was the postmaster.

o

Maine's culture could be found everywhere, even reflected in the work of the local police department, as witnessed by a few entries in the Freeport police log from the summer of 1979:

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14
1000 PM: A barking dog was reported on Bow Street. Officer Gillespie asked the owner to quiet the dog and she said she would do her best.

THURSDAY, JUNE 15
1150 AM: Officer Shorey sanded the hull of the town boat . . . 1008 PM: Officer Sloat received a report of a woman screaming on Pine Street. He found it was a lovers' spat.

FR1DAY,JUNE I6
900 AM. Officer Shorey finished sanding the hull and applied one boat of bottom paint to the town boat . . . 950AM. A streaker was reported at the town dump. The man was described as wearing a mask. Officer Fusselman checked the area without success.

SATURDAY, JUNE 17
930 AM: Officer Shorey applied a second coat of bottom paint to the town boat . . . 230 PM: Officer Walker attempted to locate an 8O-year-old woman on 1-95. She had had a quarrel with her husband and decided to walk . . . 300 PM: Officer Walker located the woman and assisted with the reunion.

MONDAY, JUNE 26
1205: A Poland Road resident alleged that two youths. in a blue vehicle attempted to steal a bag of chicken feed from his driveway. The man said he warned the youth. and then fired two rounds from his .32 special into a tree to scare them away. Officer Carter examined the holes in the tree, took two spent cartridges as evidence and warned the man about the potential consequences of injuring anyone.
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TUESDAY, JUNE 27
720 PM: A possible drunk driver was reported at the Rail Tavern. Officer Fulmer found the man sitting in his truck on Main Street. The man did not appear drunk. Fulmer advised him to wait a reasonable period of time and then drive straight home very carefully.

THURSDAY, JULY 6
952 AM: Officer Shorey removed a California man from the Falcon Restaurant at the owner's request. Shorey and Officer Roberts later gave the man a ride to Yarmouth on his way to Chebeague Island . . . 315 PM. Officer Shorey met with Archie Ross to discuss boat maintenance.

FRIDAY, JULY 7
1055 PM: A possible assault was reported at Mario's Restaurant. Officers Fulmer, Fusselman and Gillespie found it was only a family disagreement and advised the subjects to return to Yarmouth.

TUESDAY, JULY 18
1150 AM: A Brunswick Road woman reported seeing a hitchhiker deposit a white envelope in the bushes off 1-95. Officer Sloat found a white styrofoam coffee cup . . .

TUESDAY, JULY 25
1230 PM. A High View woman reported that her father had let someone from the Clam Festival borrow his truck and she would like to have it returned. She said her father didn't know who had the truck and didn't seem worried about it. Office Whitehouse said he would try to find the truck but could do nothing to recover it unless the father filed a complaint.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 6
530 PM: Officer Carter warned two subjects about picking blueberries on the Murch Road . . . 750 PM. Officer Fulmer requested a juvenile to get off the mail box at the corner of Mechanic and Main Streets. He did.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 8
550 PM. On the request of Brunswick police Officer Gillespie stopped a car with Massachusetts license plates regarding the theft of some gas. The subjects made good on their debt . . . 1200 midnight Officer Gillespie investigated a suspicious vehicle reported on Flying Point Road and Wolfe's Neck Road. He discovered the subjects, who were lost, and gave them directions.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 30
145 AM. A man crawling around the door at the laundromat was questioned by Officer Sloat. The man said he had permission to be there and was looking for money. Sloat planned to check on the permission . . . 1113 AM A Mass. resident was warned about driving on the sidewalk.

SUNDAY , SEPTEMBER 3
420 PM. Kids moved their bikes from the sidewalk in front of Freeport Variety in order to make room for pedestrians, at the request of Officer Fulmer . . . 1010 PM. While investigating a suspicious person at the Middle School, Officer Walker was relieved to learn it was only Clayton Carkin, science teacher, feeding his spiders . . . 1020 PM. Officers Fulmer and Gillespie joined forces to battle a trash can blaze at the corner of Main and Mechanic Streets.

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4
1105 AM- Officer Shorey on patrol took a holiday cruise around Williams Island, French Island and Royal River

WEDNESDAY,SEPTEMBER6
630 PM; Officers Shorey, Walker and Fulmer found themselves with some free time on their hands when their Drug Abuse class at Brunswick High School was cancelled.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 10
1245 AM. A cow was secured by Officers Carter and Fulmer at the Fogg residence from its afternoon escape from the pasture . . . 330 PM. A family problem at a local motel was reported and Officer Fulmer officiated . . . 845 PM; Officer Sloat repaired blown fuse in a cruiser's rear lights and dash. The fuses were made available by the fire department.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 12
810 AM. Officer Carter responded to a call at the Brogan residence for a dog unable to get out a pool. In the process of getting the dog out of the pool, the dog bit Officer Carter. . . . 855 AM Officer Carter went back on duty after changing his trousers at home.