Recent Andy Borowitz articles
The Pentagon has turned down Donald J. Trump’s request for a grand
military parade in Washington, D.C., citing a sudden outbreak of bone
spurs that would prevent men and women in uniform from participating.
Calling the result “close but no cigar,” Vladimir Putin has conceded
defeat in Tuesday night’s special congressional election in
Pennsylvania. “Our
social-media trolls did some of their finest work to put Rick over the
top, but, in the final analysis, we were a day late and a ruble short,”
the Russian President said.
Hours after an armed teacher in a Northern California classroom fired a
gun and injured a student, the head of the National Rifle Association
proposed placing a second armed teacher in every classroom, to shoot the
first armed teacher before he or she can do harm.
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