How to tell radical Muslims from radical Republicans

From our overstocked archives

Sam Smith, 2011 - Radical Muslims use bombs, planes and small arms to kill and injure Americans; radical Republicans use the budget process.

Radical Muslims oppose Christianity; radical Republicans give it a bad reputation.

Radical Muslims practice Sharia law; radical Republicans don’t care about laws.

Radical Muslims would like to overthrow Western democracy; radical Republicans show them how.

Radical Muslims caused death and injury to 9/11 responders; radical Republicans refused to provide them with medical care.

Radical Muslims ignore climate change; radical Republicans believe it doesn’t exist.

The radical Muslim critique of America tends to be generic; the radical Republican critique of America targets specific groups such as blacks, gays, homeless, immigrants, public workers, etc. until there's nothing much left but radical Republicans.

Radical Muslims want Americans out of the Mid East; radical Republicans want Americans out of Medicare, Social Security, food stamps, public schools etc.

Radical Muslims blow up our military tanks, trucks and troops but only after radical Republicans (and Democrats) put them where they can.

Radical Muslim men wear skullcaps or kufiyas; radical Republican men prefer to show off their hair to prove that their heads aren’t completely empty.

Bin Ladin is dead and gone; Rick Perry and Michele Bachmann are alive and still at large