THE SWAMPOODLE REPORT: DEALING WITH THE OBAMA FREEZE WARNING

Josiah Swampoodle

I understand that President Obama will be proposing a freeze on all expenditures that don't have something to do with preventing dying (Medicare) or encouraging it (the Pentagon). It's a strange choice of exceptions and in the interest of bipartisanship - i.e. bringing Obama together with the people who voted for him - I'd like to propose in the alternative that some of these frozen items, like the winter's snow, be considered shovel ready, which is to say, we push them away from the budget until spring comes along and melts them. This would cause an unprecedented drop in the deficit. Here are some suggestions for items that are shovel ready:

The wars in Afghanistan and Iraq
The war against drugs
Any education funding that requires more testing
Any bank bailouts or more aid to the Wall Street criminal class
Aid to Israel
Contracts with Blackwater
Guantanamo
Wiretapping American citizens without a warrant
Torture
Government subsidy of the pharmaceutical and health insurance industry
Peter Orzag, Rahm Emannual and Arne Duncan, just to name a few

To put this in terms that even Arne Duncan might understand: indiscriminately freezing most domestic budget items is like checking all the answers on a multiple choice test. You can do it, but if you do, you flunk.