November 12, 2015


Andy Borowitz, New Yorker - In a potential stumbling block for his Presidential ambitions, a new study indicates that the average American can stand only four seconds of exposure to Senator Ted Cruz, the Texas Republican.
Within four seconds of watching Cruz, the majority of participants begged to be released from the experiment, researchers reported. In a more encouraging finding for the senator, when the same research subjects were exposed to Cruz with his voice muted, they could tolerate him for up to six seconds, the data showed

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